What do You Believe?

I am not a religious person.  I believe in equality for all and a world free of racism and other forms of bigotry and prejudice.  I believe in being kind and being tolerant. 

So, if I do not believe in 'God' and 'Heaven' etc, then what am I supposed to believe when it comes to what happens when we die? Those people who are lucky enough to have a faith presumably believe that our spirits go on to a 'better place'.  What is this place exactly?  What do these people imagine this place to be like? Is it billowy white clouds drifting about a clear blue sky with hosts of Angels playing harps? Is it a fresh green valley filled with our loved ones who have died before us and with whom we will be reunited?

I know quite a few people who believe our spirits linger and that the dead never really leave us.  In the past, I would have scoffed at this (not obviously to those peoples' faces).  But recently, I have started to think that maybe there is something in this.  I have had a few experiences that have led me to believe that my sister is not entirely gone. 

Of course, I know that she is dead and that she will not be returning and that I will never see her again.  I am only just starting to accept this and and am desperately trying to move on and start living a full life again.  Katy would not want me to spend my days crying.  She would want me to get on with my life and enjoy it and make the most of it.  And so I shall. 

Katy could sometimes have a rather naughty sense of humour (I can recall numerous occasions where we laughed so hard that snot came out my nose and a little bit of wee escaped! I blame my children for my weak pelvic floor!).  She also enjoyed an occasional dark bit of humour with me and I can't help thinking that she would find it highly amusing to play little tricks on me now.  Just to let me know that she is still 'around' in some way.  A few things have happened to make me think this.  I sometimes feel her here so strongly that I almost glimpse her out of the corner of my eye. 

I hope that wherever she is that it is somewhere that is beautiful and fun and happy.  But, Katy, if you are here then please tap three times....xx